FAILTE

why do i get so tired so much lately? it seems like no matter when i go to bed or what i do or don't do i am tired. its so frustrating, i remember a time when i could stay up all day and all night and feel alive and energetic, now i feel drained and like climbing back under the covers before my day even begans- before the day before even ends, lol- i hope that having only one class to take next semester will help, but i know that's not my main problem... it frustrates me that i have to drive all the time lately... i know brian wishes i didn't and he could, i know he's more frustrated than me that he can't afford to fix his car right now, cuase he knows how much i hate driving, but still doesn't help- i feel like i never get to spend anytime at home anymore... feels like... i dunno, like i'm just so tired... every morning this week i've woken up looking for reasons to stay home from work and just sleep adn relax the day away... *sigh*... WHY!!! Why is it in my very nature to hurry to get to the next thing that has to be done, even though all i want is to relax but i'm the one who won't let myself...and it frustrates me to caues i'm realizeing more and more how i'm getting so overloaded that i don't even like to be around people as much right now, i just want to be in peace and quiet and relax, which is not good cuase i don't want to be unsocial... i long for the days when i can have as john mayer puts it in "the home life"*(see bottom)... i need to put myself and keep myself in a more relaxing environment, the dr.'s keep warning me about my stress and i don't know what to do to keep it down, lol.. i'm so easily stressed...

and all this stress and unrest
has me feelin so burnt out
I want to talk and keep you close
but when i try words can't come out
my minds moved so fast, It can't keep up
in silence i try to explain
i wish i knew why i'm all closed up
y it is i feel so drained
to tired to laugh to run or play
to busy to stop right now
Still i press through another day
My body and soul cries out..... <--wow i'm even so drained i can't write a decent poem, well i tried, lol...


I think I'm gonna stay home
Have myself a home life
Sitting in the slow-mo
And listening to the daylight
I am not a nomad
I am not a rocket man
I was born a housecat
By the slight of my mother's hand

I want to see the end game
I want to have his last name
Finish on a Friday
And sit in traffic on the highway
See, I refuse to believe
That my life's gonna be
Just some string of incompletes
Never to lead me to anything remotely close to a home life

Been holding out for the home life
My whole life

I can tell you this much
I will marry just once
We said eternity
And I will go to my grave
With the life that I gave
Now just some melody line
On a radio wave
It dissipates
And soon evaporates
But home life doesn't change

I want to live in the center of a circle
I want to live on the side of a square
I'd love to walk where we both can talk but
I've got to leave you cause my ride is here

Home life
You TAKE the home life
You KEEP the home life
I'll come back for the home life
I promise

Every minute i pass through
is another minute closer to you-
Each minute takes an hour to pass
'till the hour i'm in your arms at last -- Jennifer 11/05